You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
