is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
