i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
