Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
