This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
