Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
