We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
