He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
