Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
