So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He? As in you personified your dick?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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