So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
