dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
being pregnant is like rehab
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
