Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
