I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
