She is in my trunk
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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