Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize