I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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