They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
