my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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