i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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