I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I have already put on my inside pants.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
