the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
