in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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