Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
