i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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