Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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