There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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