help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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