from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
