I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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