Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
