This is not my ceiling
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
