fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize