where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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