My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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