meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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