U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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