Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
