Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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