That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
