Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
