Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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