we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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