My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm getting married
To pizza
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
