Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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