is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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