I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
