You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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