So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
