They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
