This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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