Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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