used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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