That's intense
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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