There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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