this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
