I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
